Since Elijah & Josephine came home, many people have commented on how nice it is that our children came home after such a long wait, and that now our family is complete. My thought is, “complete for now,” but we feel like God has more in store for our family.
We know the Lord is not finished with our family yet, but at the same time, we don’t know what He has in store for us yet. For both of us, we feel led towards another international adoption.
Haiti still has a place in our hearts, but we struggle with the 2+ year timeframe to adopt from Haiti. Is this something we could handle again? I'm not sure. I do still follow the happenings with the orphanage our children called home for 2 1/2 years of their life (FHG/Maison), as well as another orphanage that does adoptions and some other. I am praying that maybe the process there could somehow become more efficient and more consistent for the sake of all the children and their forever families. At the very least, we would love to go back on missions trips when the time is right – even taking our children back on missions in the future is definitely a goal of ours.
I have become increasingly interested in another country’s programs, but I haven’t discerned yet whether it’s just my selfishness, God’s plan, or maybe a combination of both. We know of other families who are either currently in process or recently having brought a child home from there. We also know that this country’s program, while relatively new, seems to have a relatively short processing time, which is quite attractive as well. I don’t believe in coincidences, so perhaps God has placed these families in our lives for that very reason – to plant a seed, give us the interest, and maybe our future children are there. We don’t know yet. There are a couple other countries that have adoption programs or orphanages being started, that have recently came across our radar as well, but no direction or further thoughts on those yet either.
We also have felt that the Lord has a baby in store for us at some point, but that somewhat conflicts with the international part, because that is fairly uncommon given the length of time an international adoption takes to process. I've recently become a fan of the TV show "16 and Pregnant" and have wondered if maybe my interest in the show (other than evening laziness/boredom) might have something to do with our family's future. But really, could we handle an open adoption, waiting to be "chosen", and the heart-wrenching possibilities of a biological parent(s) changing their mind? We definitely are not feeling led to foster-adopt again, but private domestic? Who knows...
To say the least, we have a lot of praying and discerning to do. I must say that I have not felt very close to God in prayer in the last 11 months like I feel I should have. You know that old adage about only going to God in prayer when you’re in need, and when things are going well you tend to forget to keep that relationship in tact? That’s kind of how I’ve felt for the last 11 months since Elijah & Josephine have come home. During their adoption process, I grew a lot in my faith, spent a lot of time in the word, and spent a lot of time in prayer. It seemed my time in prayer and in the Word were used a lot to keep Satan from filling my mind with fears that tended to creep in and try to destroy me in the waiting. Since the kids came home, things are going well. Sure, we have our challenges in our home, but nothing like the previous 2 1/2 years of waiting.
Also, it still feels a little strange to me to be thinking of adopting again so soon, so I’m not sure if it’s just me or if maybe now’s not quite the right time yet to be starting again. So, until we know it’s the right time and place and children, we’re waiting. We’re trying to focus our energy on the children we do have (how couldn’t we, really!), and spend more time focusing on God’s will for our lives. A recurring theme for our family:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
7 comments:
There was a little boy in China we just recently looked into who is between Jasmine and the twins in age. But then I saw he's been in the same foster home for six years and has had an older foster brother that whole time. That really worries me because I think he is going to possibly resent anyone who takes him from that home and also he would have to compete with so many in our house for attention which would be new to him on top of everything else. I feel like it's a no for us.
I'm not really looking for another child but I'm not closed to one more either but would prefer a child between the twins and Jasmine's age.
Ah you were very right when you responded to my post. We definitely have the same train of thought running through our minds. I had thought maybe Ghana (or Ethiopia or Uganda) might be good fits for us but it just doesn't seem like it fits. I just can't get Haiti out of the picture. And we've also talked about a baby in our future but nothing seems right with any of the programs we know of for domestic adoption. (And God doesn't seem to be sending us one without adoption so...) I just keep thinking maybe there is a possibility of a Haitian adoption again. We've also been looking at doing an HIV positive adoption which would maybe allow us to do a Haitian adoption despite the age issue but that certainly doen't alleviate the wait time issue and I think it might be very hard to wait for long amounts of a time if your child was ill. I've spent way too much time recently exploring all sorts of stuff that might be options for us.
All you can do is keep praying for God's direction. He will lead you where he wants you. We are still feeling led to adopt the two older brothers we met in Ghana, but it just doesn't make sense in my head, you know? I think we just need to quit overanalyzing sometimes and just "Let go and let God." We will pray for you to have a clear direction form God about how/when to proceed.
Yes Kayla! So many options, no idea where to start! Ghana has been on our minds because of Kelly and a few others. Our home study worker has a developing program there, but the children currently available are older than we're comfortable with right now.
Our church is working to build a relationship with an orphan care initiative in Zambia - Give Life, an affiliate of Gospelink. But I don't think Adoption is part of the program at this point.
And Haiti still very much on our minds too - and I think we fit the 1974 laws- although we thought we did the first time because of our infertility and they still made us go thru dispensation. The inconsistencies in the process there make it very hard for us to say yes to starting there again.
We don't feel like we can take children with special needs - working full-time, etc., makes things difficult even when our non-special-needs children start passing around the normal illnesses.
Kelly - I know what you mean, although I've though with our adoptions, they didn't "make sense" either at times. Thanks for your prayers.
A pastor sharing about the children in his orphanage in Zambia is what got us thinking about adoption in 2005! They weren't doing international adoptions at the time, so we were led to Haiti. Ironically, Haiti was supposed to have a short wait (6-10 months, we were told); it took four years after we started the process. I know our daughter was meant to be in our family. Even though the wait was very painful and she is older than we thought she would be when she came home, we would do it all over again... for her.
Praying for God's clear leading for your family.
Have you looked at all into Rwanda? We were looking into that country pretty seriously at one point, when we thought we had at least 2 more years before Avery was to get here. It is a little confusing b/c I think you have to do a lot of the leg work yourself, but I believe the adoption process is inexpensive (if you don't use an agency, which I have heard the country prefers?!) and quick. Just a thought! :) I think I have some saved contacts in my email somewhere if you're interested.
Tracy - I think I have your email address from a while back - will try to email you there. The anonymous email address I had set up for my blog contact isn't working, so I'll try that way. Thanks - I'm interested in any and all options at this point, just trying to do some research and learn about things at this point until something jumps out at me.
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