Happy Mother's Day 2009

I tend to have mixed feelings on Mother’s Day the last several years. This year is no different.

If my birthday falls on a Sunday, it is on Mother’s Day. This weekend will be the 5th birthday like that (yes, had to look that up on calendars). Honestly, selfishly, it’s a little weird, but a little less now, since I’m also a mom. However, my family is awesome about making my birthday special. This year Jock, Kaylen, and I are celebrating my birthday on Saturday, and then we’re doing something with Jock’s mom & family Sunday.

I lost my mom over 4 years ago, so it’s tough to think about not being able to give my mom a hug and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. Last Sunday, I spent a little time at the cemetery where my mom’s cremains are buried. I spent some time “talking to Mom”, talking with God, and remembering some things. It was a beautiful day, and a good time and place to express some of my thoughts and feelings out loud. I miss her so much, but am so happy to know that she’s been made perfect in Jesus and is dancing with the angels as she watches over us.

I think of the babies I lost during our infertility struggles, and thank God for getting us through those tough times. He’s given me comfort in knowing that they are in Heaven with Jesus, waiting for me to meet them someday. At the same time, pray for many others who are silently grieving their little angels in heaven or praying for a healthy pregnancy this Mother’s Day.

I miss being mommy to my two little ones, who now share our last name, and who are (or are very close to being) legally our children. Yet, I cannot share this day with them. They are on my heart this Mother’s Day and every day, while we wait for them to come home.

I grieve for our children’s birth families, and what they may be going through not having their children to mother, on Mother’s Day. I read something today about the Saturday before Mother’s Day being recognized as Birth Mother’s Day in the adoption community, and have thought about how I can honor my children’s birth mothers this weekend. Not knowing them, and knowing that one of the three is deceased, they will be in my prayers.

On a happier note…

I celebrate the wonderful woman that is now my step-mother. She has been so good for my dad and to our family. Happy Mother’s Day, Terry!

I want to also wish my Grandma a Happy Mother’s Day. I thank God for the wonderful, Christian example you have been in my life!

Happy Mother’s Day to Jock’s mom and grandmothers!

Happy Mother’s Day to my sister, sister-in-law, and to many other family & friends out there.

And finally, for the 4th Mother’s Day now, I celebrate being a mom to Kaylen! She has brought so much joy into our lives the past 3+ years, and I’m proud to call her my daughter. I love you Kaylen!