Elijah's Behavior

So, Elijah's been having behavior problems at daycare. He'd been having them for quite some time. We'd been talking to him about them every night, talking about what he should do instead, etc., but we haven't been able to get a handle on them.

He moved to a different preschool classroom at daycare right after Memorial Day. It's a more formal preschool classroom, and a little bigger than his previous class was. We figured for the first week or so he was adjusting, feeling out his boundaries, how far he could push, etc... But it extended beyond the first couple weeks, and then started becoming more of a problem.

Behaviors like:
* Running away from teachers when it's time to line up after recess.
* Pushing friends when in line.
* Hitting/kicking friends.
* Throwing/breaking toys.
* Not sitting still/listening at group time. Then when removed from group time, throws a fit with teacher (hitting/kicking/attempting to bite).
* Jumping/noisy on cot at naptime.
* Not helping pick up toys when asked.
* General disobedience/not listening to teachers.

None of these are huge problems themselves, but all these things were really adding up and becoming a much bigger problem. It seemed after a couple weeks in the classroom, they were actually getting worse.

We got a call from daycare last Friday regarding Elijah's behavior. Saturday I was with Kaylen at soccer games most of the day, so he was with Daddy and Josephine. He had behavior problems with Daddy at his blastball game, and at home. Sunday he was pretty well behaved, but I think he tends to behave better with me than Daddy for some reason.

Monday I got another call from his daycare teacher. We chatted a bit about a smiley-face/sad-face chart they were using for him daily. He got either the smiley face or the sad face for each activity or hour. It was a carry-over from his previous classroom, and we agreed that it wasn't helpful - he simply didn't care about what faces he got circled.

We both talked about what we could do that might motivate him. Daycare was going to start using their "Being caught good" jar, where he gets a popsicle stick and when the jar's full, he gets to play with a big box of toys that only gets played with when the jar is filled. I don't think this will be a big motivating factor initially, because I don't think he'll totally understand it up front. But it's a start.

Monday afternoon, I picked up the kids early for dental appointments. We went home and spiffed up the house for a meeting we had later that evening, ate a quick bite then took Kaylen to her swimming lesson. When we got home, the kids played while Jock and I had our meeting. While the girls played the Wii and a computer game, we had decided that Elijah couldn't watch TV or play computer since he made poor choices at daycare. He cried for a bit, but went on, playing with his tractors/cars. When he and Josephine got bored but we were still in our meeting, we got out their crayons for them - but Elijah proceeded to color and stick stickers on the dining room table, which he KNOWS is not allowed. We figured he was mad and paying us back for not letting him play Wii/Computer. Grrrr...

Tuesday, Jock got a call from daycare regarding Elijah's behaviors. Ugh! (But glad they called, because we want to know what he's doing so we can try to address at home.) That evening, when I picked up the kids, we went straight to Kaylen's swimming lesson, and Jock had supper ready when we got home. Jock also had brought a few extra cookies home from work, but we talked and decided he wasn't going to get one. He ate his supper fairly quickly (because he was hoping for a cookie), but then we sent him to clean up the mess on the dining room table he'd made the night before. After it was cleaned up, it was bedtime for all the kids. He cried himself to sleep, over not getting the cookie, and not having playtime after supper like the girls got.

Today, neither Jock nor I got a call from daycare regarding Elijah's behaviors! When I get to daycare, he's usually playing outside, but I go through his classroom on the way out to get his papers, including the one the teacher fills out about what they did that day. At the top of the page, she wrote, "Elijah had an excellent morning - good listening & helped pick up without being asked!" The teacher almost hugged me when I got outside.

We made a BIG deal about his good behavior - praising him multiple times, etc. When we got in the car, he immediately asked me if he could watch a movie, and when we stopped in at home to get Kaylen's swim suit, he immediately asked for the cookie. He got a big smile on his face when I told him he could have a cookie after supper. I let him pick out the movie to watch in the van on the way to the swimming lesson. After we got home from Kaylen's swimming lesson, we had supper, which included he and Josephine splitting the one remaining cookie, and also getting a piece of candy from the bowl (because Kaylen chose candy over 1/3 of the cookie, so he thought he was entitled too :). It was a nice night, and I'm so glad that we may have turned the corner.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think we're done with this year. I totally expect him to misbehave again about every other day until he gets that we're not going to back down after one good day. But hopefully soon we'll be to a point where we're having mostly good days.